Seasons of love
by xEspeciallyNow
Summary: I get told to move on with my life but how can I move on without you? Without your soft lips touching mine, without your warms hands entwined in mine. Reviews would be appreciated.
1. Winter

''_This could kill me'' _

**Winter:**

It's been 5 days, 9 hours, 30 minutes and 10 seconds since I last saw your eyes open and close, since I last saw you breathing, since I last saw you alive. I'm counting because every minute feels like a lifetime.

I visited you every day for a week; sat by your bedside and read to you, I brought you in a radio as I know how much you loved music, they had it playing all the time just so you weren't alone when I had to leave.

I even started praying for you, me! Santana Lopez praying bet you'd never hear me say that, I prayed every morning when I woke up and before I went to bed, hoping that you'd make it through the day.

I wake up in the middle of the night a mixture of sweat and salty tears running down my face, once again I had dreamt about you.

If I could go back in time and take your place, I would, but I can't and I won't ever be able to.

I hope you know there's not a day that passes where I don't say your name or think about you.

Nothing's the same without you, school, Glee, Cheerios practice… nothing.

I feel like a part of me has been ripped apart, a part of me that I won't get back.

Without you I'm incomplete, broken.

I get told to move on with my life but how can I move on without you? Without your soft lips touching mine, without your warms hands entwined in mine.

Christmas wasn't the same without you.

We went put on a Christmas concert with Glee club and sang all of your favourite carols and songs in your memory, there wasn't a dry eye in the audience.

Your mum came to visit; she told me how she'd wished that you could have been on that stage tonight. I told her that you were, we may not have been able to see you but you were there supporting us.

Everyone from Glee went to see Santa again, just like we did the year before with you. It didn't feel the same without you repeatedly telling everyone how excited you were.

When Christmas day arrived everyone was really excited but all I could think about was you, and how the Christmas before was the last Christmas that you would ever experience.

New Years Eve wasn't the same without you, sneaking into my Dad's liqueur cabinet wasn't nearly as much fun without you.

When the clock struck midnight everyone had someone to kiss, but not me, I lost my soul mate.

And when the firework displays everyone had someone to hold hands with in the moonlight as we watched the beautiful colours exploding in the sky, I stood alone, thinking about you.

It's been snowing a lot recently. I know how much you loved the snow; sledging, snow angels, building snowmen, we did it all.

I still have the picture of us from 9th grade in my back garden standing next to the snowman we had spent most of the afternoon making, it's on my bedside table, next to a picture of us in our Cherrios uniform after we won nationals for the first time.

I made a snow angel, but it looked somewhat lonely not having yours next to it. I covered it up with snow, I couldn't stand not seeing your snow angel next to mine, it reminded me how alone I really felt.

I then made a snowman but it wasn't as fun without you, I couldn't seem to get it to look like we always did, I guess you had some sort of magic touch.

The snow started to melt after that, it slowly went away, just like you.

The only thing thought that gets me through the day is that one day I will see you again, but until that day happens I'll have to wait, I'm okay with waiting because holding you in my arms once again will be worth the wait.

…

AN; This is going to be a ''four-shot'' a chapter for every season! Each chapter should be less than 1000 words (hopefully) hope you liked this first chapter, feel free to suggest ideas or tell me your opinion.

If you're going to favourite please take one minute (or less) to review, they make my day.


	2. Spring

Spring

Today you're all I can think about, just like yesterday, and the day before that.

You're on my mind when I wake up and you're the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night.

I often think that I can see you and I have to pinch myself to make sure that you're there but once again I had been day dreaming. I seem to be doing that quite a lot recently, all involving you of course.

I start talking to you and then I look to my right waiting for you to reply and you're not there.

It's going to be Easter soon.

I know how much you loved Easter. You said it was because you liked seeing the newborn lambs in the field but I really knew it was because of the chocolate.

I remember the notes you used to leave the Easter bunny telling them to be careful because Lord Tubbington gets hungry during the night and is always wanting a midnight snack.

It's the silly little things like that I miss.

I nearly said stupid but I know how much you hate that.

I think I was the only person to never call you that and I'm not going to start now.

I wish I'd have walked you home, none of this would have happened if I had. Or you should just have given them your purse; they didn't need to know that nothing was in it.

They must have seen the defenceless and innocent look on your face and instantly knew that you were an easy target. If I'd have been there I'd have stopped them.

I would have taken the bullet for you any day; I wouldn't need to think about it.

I still would take it if it meant that you could come back.

We're having our senior skip day in a couple of days. It won't be the same without you. We're going to Six Flags.

I know how much you pretended to love rides.

I could tell by the look on your face that you didn't like them.

I could feel it in the way you would tightly grip my hand. It felt like my circulation was about to be cut off, but I didn't mind.

Did you go on all those rides for me? I hope not, you didn't have to.

It's going to be weird without you.

Not having someone squealing in my ear or squeezing my hand.

The only good thing about this whole situation is that you don't have to suffer through hours of extra classes and revision for finals.

It's graduation soon.

I know how much you couldn't wait to graduate but at the same time you didn't want to leave, you never said that but I knew it, I could read you like a book.

You never got the chance to wear the gown or hat, I wish you had.

I wish you had gotten the chance to stand up on the stage as senior class president and had said your goodbye speech but now instead Rachel's got to do it. I know much you'd hate that, you'd had it written it out in pink crayon in the back of your Spanish book for months.

I have no idea how she got elected as class president after you died. She's one of the most hated people in the school, not a week goes by where she doesn't get a slushie facial at least once. I mean who would vote for her? Apart from Finn.

But still it doesn't make seeing her stood up there any easier, with that huge smile she has on her face but at the same time is trying not to cry. Her speech felt like it lasted a lifetime, by the end hardly anyone was listening, I know you'd have made it interesting. No matter how bad it was I still ended up crying. I'm not sure if it was the fact that all I could imagine was you stood up there or the fact that it was the end of 4 amazing years, as much as I hated school and wished everyday that graduation could hurry up I know I'll miss it.

Now that everyone has graduated and starting a new part of their life, we'll all be forgotten, for a while we'll have the memories of how being in Glee Club was the best times of our lives but in a couple of months time all that will have been forgotten and it will just be another chapter in our life story.


End file.
